November 6, 2009

I wish I could get in the habit of blogging more often.  I love it so much.  My youngest child has been incredibly demanding of my time lately (much more than usual) and I have little down time.

Today he was up before 5:00!!!  Of course, Ted went in to work early and was getting the shower, so I had to get up too!  SO tired!  But now he is napping so I’m catching a break.  Hope he naps again later.

We got through Halloween last weekend.  It was so great having mom and Chuch up here to celebrate with us.  That’s something they have never done with the kids.  Evan was a Cards ballplayer, Abby an angel, and Aaron a monkey.  I’ll try to upload my pics this weekend if I get a chance.

It has been a rough week.  I have a number of friends going through terrible things right now, and it is really taking a toll on me emotionally.  I suppose I can only do what I can do, which is mostly pray for them.  The Lord has a purpose for all of it, and I know he is not giving any of them more than they can handle.  I am just trying to get them to understand that.  It is really going to be ok.

Yesterday would have been my sister’s 28th birthday.  I had a very tough day.  I miss her so much.  Sometimes it is so difficult to understand why I have been so blessed and she had to be taken from us.  Again, I know he had a purpose, but on days like that, that is difficult to grasp.  I so wanted her to truly know my kids.  She was aware of Evan and Abby when she was here, and I know she longed to hug and kiss them.  But she left us before Aaron wa born, and that breaks my heart.

Aaron is awake now, so I guess I have to cut it short.  Life is great, and I wish that the Lord would bless each of you with the same.

Fevers, Tantrums, and more… October 23, 2009

The last week or so has been a whirlwind!  Mostly due to the sickness in the house.  Aaron had scarlet fever (!) and Abby ran an unexplained temp for 5 days!  Things were a little out of whack, to say the least.  Aaron wasn’t too bad after 24 hours, but having to keep a 5yo indoors for 5 days was a great challenge!  She went back to school Tuesday, and I’ve been attempting to catch up and return to normal.  However, I continue my prayers that we will be healthy now!

I’m looking forward to the next few days.  Tomorrow Trish and I (and Aaron!) are going to Columbia to do a little shopping.  Just to get away from the house and do something different sounds great!  Tomorrow night there is supposed to be an awesome Cajun meal for the Deacons and Elders at the minister’s house.  Nothing could sound better to Ted and I than cajun food!  Yum! 

Saturday my dad and Carol will be coming to visit.  It’s been quite awhile since I really saw my dad.  I mean, I saw him for a bit at my grandma’s funeral, but obviously didn’t get to visit very long.  The last time we really hung out with him was July 4.  Hopefully this weekend things will go a lot better than they did that weekend!

Then Sunday if the weather cooperates, we will go to the pumpkin patch.  They have a petting zoo, hayrides, etc.  We haven’t been able to do any of that stuff since everyone has been sick this month!  Somewhere in there we need to carve pumpkins!  I’m looking forward to all of the excitement from the kids.

Aaron has hit this incredibly wild age of 16 months!  He is funnier and crazier than ever!  But the tantrums, OH the tantrums!  Just like his brother, his terrible 2’s have started early.  When he doesn’t get his way, he’ll throw himself down and usually bang his head on whatever is closest to him.  The bruises on his forehead from this look like someone has been using him as a football!  Although his tantrums are like his brother’s, we are older and wiser than we were back then.  So he doesn’t get away with much!  In fact, he listens to NO a lot better and isn’t nearly as defiant, because he knows we’ll make him toe the line.  Funny how much smarter we get, isn’t it?

Hibernation October 14, 2009

My aunt made a comment today on FB about feeling like hibernating this time of year.  That is spot on!  When it gets cold, I do not leave the house unless I absolutely have to!  I am also much less motivated to do very much, particularly when the sun isn’t out, like today.

But I am challenging myself.  Even though I hole up in the winter, I am determined to make the best of it this year.  I have already gotten into doing a lot more cooking and baking, and hopefully over the winter I can create the atmosphere that my family loves to come home to.  I’ve already stocked up on the hot drinks, like hot chocolate and apple cider, and they have just LOVED that!  My real challenge to myself will come when the snow starts to fall.  I am always putting off the snowman-making and sledding on Ted because I am such a baby about being cold. But I want their memories to include me, not just their Dad!

Maybe I can contribute to my mood by lighting more yummy candles, doing more blogging, and curling up with my Bible more.  I am so fortunate to have the life I do, to be able to stay home with my awesome kids, and I need to show God how much appreciate his blessings by not wasting so much of the time he has given me.

I have learned the very painful, hard way that life can be way too short.  We have a way of being too comfortable, where it’s warm, or where it’s easy, and we don’t challenge ourselves enough or step outside our little boxes.  Not me, not this year.

His Grace IS sufficient – a testimony October 4, 2009

My Sunday morning Women’s Bible Study just blows me away!  I leave there every time with such emotion and fulfillment!  I am so grateful for the leaders who choose to give so much of themselves to make that happen.

This morning, we mulled over 2 Corinthians 12:9….And he said to me,”My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.”  Wow!  How many times I have read that verse, yet never got the gravity of it until today!  Yes, his grace should be suffcient for me, I have always known that.  But can anything, albeit power, really be perfected in weakness?  Then Paul tells us how he boasts of his own weaknesses, encouraging us to do the same!  That’s a lot to take in.  But as I dwelled on this verse, I really feel that verse is almost my life in a nutshell.  Here are a few pages from my open book…

For many years of my life, I played the victim, either real or perceived.  Whether it was I was a victim of my father’s alcoholism, the victim of the intense bullying I underwent in Junior High, the victim of the guys who knew girls with poor self-esteem were easy prey, or feeling as if I am somewhat the victim by my sister’s life being taken from her.  Those are only a few things I could talk about. 

There were times I was angry, most times I was weighed down by the clinical depression.  Needless to say, there was definitely a real emptiness there that I could never seem to fill.  Not with all of the counseling in the world.  Not without it being based in the Lord. At 21, I attempted to take my own life, because I didn’t think there was a solution to all of my pain.  Fortunately, the Lord’s hand intervened and saved me that night.  And he used that to bring my then-boyfriend, now-husband, back into my life after I had so foolishly walked away. 

Friendships were always difficult for me. I suppose my self-esteem issues, my depression, and my extreme sensitivity were the greatest factors there.  I had very few close friends in junior high and high school, but I almost always had a boyfriend, because I’d date almost anyone just to have someone.  And they knew it. 

Though I always loved the Lord and was raised in the church, I never had a real relationship with Him until recent years.  I had always known he was there, but I didn’t know why he wasn’t saving me from my issues!  But He already had.  I just didn’t know it yet.  I had yet to see His plan for my life, and am still watching it unfold.  If I knew then what I know now, would I change any of it?  Not a chance.  (Well, I’d bring Jen back if I could, of course, but God had a plan there, too.)  I do not believe that Ted or I would have swallowed our pride and got back together if it hadn’t been for my stupid antics.  Now I have many friends, and several very close friends that I could call in the middle of the night if I needed anything.  Sure, it would have been great to have that then, but it didn’t really matter back then.  It matters now.  God changed my heart along the way, and has now made the me the sort of friend I wished I had been then.

Without any of the trials and weaknesses I have been through in my life, I would not be the person I am.  The person God intended me to be.  Don’t get me wrong, I know I will never be perfect and I still have a lot of work to do.  But if I can see his power at work in those weakest points in my life, then I am on my way.  So I do boast in those weaknesses, because His grace is sufficient for me.  To have taken me from the person I was, broken and alone, to blessing me so richly with a loving husband, 3 beautiful kids, and a great life.  Most of all, he has brought me to the point in my life where HE is the center.  That is His plan for each of us.

Before we ever feel like we are alone, worthless, or that God doesn’t care, we have to remember this.  We were bought with the ultimate price.  He sacrificed His Son so that we would NOT be lost.  Without him, nothing will be sufficient.  Only in Him will we find the grace it takes to move through this life.  Joy, pain, and the whole crazy thing.

And the leaves fall… October 3, 2009

We have officially welcomed fall this week.  I love seeing all the leaves on the ground, the pumpkins, and feeling a bit cooler weather.  I could do without this wind, keeping us all indoors, though.  Really that was just today, but it was enough for us to miss the Homecoming Day parade.

The rest of the week I was cooped up because of this awful H1N1 (unofficial) flu.  Five full days I spent on the mend, not going anywhere or doing much at all.  Today was the first day I was really back on my feet. I thank God that the kids seem to have fought it off! 

What a week for my kids, though!  Youngest first.  Aaron has really started talking and doing more things himself. He’s repeating a ton of stuff.  His favorite words are probably “go” and “car”, oh and “stairs.”  Typical boy!  Yesterday he saw Chuck’s picture on the wall.  His whole face just lit up and he said,”GAMPA!”  So cute!!!  He climbing up and down on the couch, finally learning how to go “down” the stairs (backwards), and of course, throwing things when he’s mad!  He actually has quite a little temper!

Abby got her first award at school this week, albeit the biggest award.  She got the Terrific Kid Award, as if I didn’t know she was!   I was SO bummed out because I was home sick and couldn’t go!  Ted was able to go, but I was heartbroken. 

Evan really surprised us this week.  He’s been struggling with school a bit.  Apparently he has a pretty rowdy class and his teacher was handling it by punishing the whole class.  Evan, being the kind of kid who tries really hard to behave himself, is very discouraged by that.  For the first time, he was actually disliking school.  I have been meaning to send an email to his teacher to mention this, but with me being sick, I’d forgotten.  So Evan took matters into his own hands and went to his teacher about it!  He told Mr. Burris how he is bored in school and frustrated because of the other kids and because of the punishment everyone suffers.  Then the teacher called me after school to discuss it.  He was proud of Evan and thrilled he came to him.  And you know, Evan came home today and said ,”Mom, Mr. Burris is a lot nicer now!” lol.

Not a half-bad week for a mom, huh?  Even though I wasn’t physically doing much, I was reaping the rewards of raising good kids.  Who could ask for more?

Cornucopia September 25, 2009

Today my mind is full of a plethora of things.  Bear with me if I seem scattered, or do they now call it ADHD?  But I’m not, that’s Ted…and Evan.  Does anyone really stay focused anymore?  Do we just all have various forms of ADD?  In some cases, we call it multi-tasking.  We do more than one thing at a time, and then feel successful if any or all of those things get done.  I’m a pretty good multi-tasker, in most cases.  But my husband will tell you I can’t talk and do anything else.  When I was a kid, they joked I couldn’t walk and talk at the same time. I suppose they were right!

Every time I get online today, I notice there is someone else with whatever “it” is that is going around.  H1N1, strep, sinus junk, you name it, it’s out there.  And it’s only September.  I’m surprised at myself for not panicking that the kids, especially the baby, are going to get sick.  They are.  It’s a fact.  These things are so prevalent that they are unavoidable.  I am simply trying to be aware so when they do catch something, I am aware of their symptoms and know if it requires a doctor’s care or not.  This makes me think a lot about life in general.  The question is not “if” we are going to go through struggles, have bad days, get stressed out, but WHAT we will do about them when they happen.  Will we panic?  Will we be prepared?  If we are aware these things are coming, it’s not so tough to tell ourselves that this, too, shall pass.  We cannot always change our circumstances, but what we can change is how we react to them.  I think that is the measure of who we really are.

The windows are open and it is an amazing day outside.  I anticipate my kids coming home with their interesting yet comical stories and thoughts.  Abby told me last night tin the car that the librarian at her school shaved his head.  “But it wasn’t yesterday, it was on, um…Septemeber the 9th…no, I mean, uh…September the 1st.  Can one of the boys in our fanily shave their head?”  First, the fact that she thought she knew a specific date was funny, but then to think of one of my guys with no hair…I was really glad I wasn’t drinking anything at that point, because it likely would have been all over my dash.

Evan is not having such a great time at school these days.  I suppose they hit an age when they finally stop loving it.  I want so much for him days of smiles and no monkey on his back, but he just insists on carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.  He’s so serious, and I wish I could get him to lighten up a bit.  Howver, in that respect, he’s just like Ted and myself when we were kids in that respect.  If only he could know now what he will know 10, 15, even 20 years from now.  We waste so much time worrying when we are young…and then again, we still do.  Maybe we need to look at that as a lesson.  How many things will we look back on in 20 years and wish we had done differently?  Played Candy Land instead of squeezing in one more chore?  Taken a walk instead of watched that TV show?  We need to look to our past to decide our future.

Happy Friday!

And we’re off! September 23, 2009

I don’t know why I never thought of this before!  I have always loved to write, and since my computer has become a fifth limb to me, it makes perfect sense!  What a great place to keep all our precious memories of the kids, and all of the day-to-day things that we might otherwise forget.  Here’s a shout out to those of you who encouraged and/or helped me get this going!  SHOUT!  There. 

Aaron had his 15-month checkup today, and did very well, I might add!  He’s in the 50-75% in all categories.  He is moving right along.  I truly never thought he ever be “normal” at all!  Given the first 3 months of his life, we are all lucky he’s even here!  Have a colic problem, just look me up.  You won’t feel so bad about your baby’s colic afetr you talk to me!  If yours is one of the few that gets it as bad as he had it, then I may be your lifeline!  But he has become a sweet, flirtatious, happy (except when he’s teething) little guy and we are having SO much fun right now!  Just the 2 of us, and a really great time in Mom’s life!  I feel so fortunate to have the chance to stay home with my 3 awesome kids!  I do not ever forget that the Lord has blessed me this way, believe me!

Our day is winding down.  It’s almost time to get Abby from the bus, then get them all some dinner, and we’re off to dance and soccer.  Such is life.  Nights like this are when the chaos reigns!